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how I became a medical school dropout

I’ve been reading the blog of my swap buddy so that I can look for things to buy over the next few weeks. I’m so impressed with her consistency. My blog is sort of a hodgepodge of ideas that have stewed for a few weeks before they come together. She on the other hand seems to faithfully blog every day or two and sometimes several times in a day. It’s been very helpful and I’ve learned so much from reading about her day to day life. So for those random visitors that might have a difficult time understanding where I’ve been on this blogging journey I thought I would try to explain it a little.
Here’s a summary of my life since 2000.

My husband and I met the summer before our freshman year in college, despite the fact that we grew up in the same town and had many friends in common. We were pretty much inseparable for those four years and we got married within a few months of graduation. He made falling in love a hundred times better than any book I’d ever read. He gave me goosebumps on my arms and butterflies in my tummy. We dated for three months before he ever reached over to hold my hand. I still remember exactly where we were standing on campus. I was wearing a pink poodle skirt and he was wearing a leather jacket and white T-shirt because we’d just come from a 50’s style dance. He was the first man I ever gave my heart to and the first one I ever kissed. And he’s still the only one in both of those categories as well! While we were engaged I applied to medical school because I wanted to be a doctor and I was accepted. So after we married we moved to a new city. My husband worked full time to pay the bills while I went to school.

And life was bittersweet. I have a hard time explaining what medical school was like. We were expected to absorb huge amounts of information and were examined over minutiae. It was frustrating and depressing. During the two years I spent as a medical student I felt like I was always bracing myself to stand against huge tidal waves. There was a lot of pressure to perform at a certain level. I drew strength from my faith in Christ. It was hard to talk to my friends and family about school. So I found comfort in the Bible (you can see this in the whole first year of my blogging). I finally realized that I was not cut out to be a doctor when my resident (an MD with only 2 years of experience) in Psychiatry showed me a picture of her 6 month old son. She started crying in front of me because he didn’t recognize her when she went to pick him up from daycare earlier in the week. Of all the rotations Psychiatry residents have the most time off!! So I was shocked to realize how enormous the sacrifice was going to be for me. This all occurred in July of 2006.

So I opted to withdraw from school in August to think about my priorities. I spent a few months at home painting and taking anti-depressants. And the longer that I thought about it the more I realized that I wanted to be involved in the life of my family. I wanted to have kids and I wanted to be rooted in a community. I decided I wanted to try teaching. I applied for a job teaching high school Biology in November. Then we started working on a family and I started the alternative certification program that allows you to teach while you take classes. My first day on the job was in January.

Teaching was a breath of fresh air. I loved answering questions and explaining new concepts to my kids. I loved watching them light up with understanding. It was a wonderful new world. I’m so thankful that I decided to change directions. I honestly believe this is where the Lord wants me to be but I also believe He let me experience medical school for important reasons. Now we’re gearing up for the start of a new year and a fresh batch of students. I’m trying to get my classroom set up and ready to go. And my husband and I are expecting our little girl in September. And that’s my life in a nutshell!

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