• ~Psalm 46:4-5~

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Spinning

Life feels a little bit overwhelming. There’s just so much going on right now. At school I just got some awesome new equipment that makes me love teaching again. I’m swamped in a good way with wedding photos to edit for my photography business. At home we’re still wading through the terribly dramatic twos. My sister’s getting married soon. Sometimes I feel a little bit dizzy from everything -like that feeling of spinning around until the world looks like a blur. It’s a happy but stressful way to live. The days just sort of blur together.

So I’ve been trying to step back from the chaos. Bri and I have been going for bike rides after school. Hubster and I have been chilling on the couch when I would normally be absorbed by the computer. And I’ve made an effort to reconnect with my girl friends. It’s been so nice to slow down again and enjoy life.

Bring on the Bagpipe Music

Bridoodle received this adorable kilt from her aunt M and uncle J for Christmas. They lived in Scotland for a year as missionaries and brought this home for a present. Today, she rocked it out in the church nursery.

Her favorite lovey these days, Baby, gets to travel everywhere with her. We take Baby to daycare every day and to church. (Although this morning I forgot to grab Baby on the way out the door and since church had already started before I’d finished buckling Bri into her safety harness, I didn’t go back. I think the whole neighborhood could hear the wails for “BAAAAAAAAYBEEEEEEEE” on the way to church.)

After church, I wanted to grab some pictures of Bri in her new kilt, so she and Baby modeled for me.  Baby’s pretty good at sitting still. Bri – not so much. She did enjoy showing Baby the view from our window.

Then she hopped down from the couch and brought a favorite DVD over to me. “Watch Elmo Burthday?” She tilted her head and batted her eyelashes at me. I snapped the camera a few times hoping to catch that expression. She turned away annoyed and marched over to the DVD player. Then she pushed the open button, removed the current DVD and put her Elmo Birthday DVD in the slot. I sat there open mouthed before I realized that I should take a picture. (Hello? Nobody would believe this otherwise!)

She was so proud of herself. And so was I. My baby girl is growing up!

kit-kat post

I had to think of something clever for this post title, because my original idea would have made you hit “mark already read” in your feed reader. You can go ahead and do that if you want!

I’m sitting at home in a quiet house all by myself for the next few minutes. Today was a rainy gray day and I got soaked on the way to the car, so I decided to indulge myself with some alone time at home. I changed into jeans before grabbing the computer. It’s eerily quiet around here.

Every day after school I stop by the daycare to pick up Bri on my way home from work. Then we go on to do our normal errands or we go home. It seems like I melt seamlessly from one role (teacher) into the next (mother) and the next (wife) and the next (photographer). I rarely stop to just be me.

So today I thought I’d take a thirty minute break. And it was fun. It’s nice to know that I still like myself, because I don’t get to spend much time with just me anymore!

almost pregnant

We had an evening of being almost pregnant a few nights ago. I’ve had plenty of them over the last five years. If my period’s even a day late then I start to worry. There have been many frantic moments where we waited to see if there would be two pink lines or just one on the pregnancy test.

But this time it was different. This time I held the smallest glimmer of hope that it might be for real. Hubs and I joked around with big goofy grins on our faces. He told me to go lay down after dinner so that he could bring me some ice cream. We talked in a silly voice and patted my tummy, while asking Bri if she’d like to be a big sister. I imagined a tiny baby growing inside me and was already loving this future child.

So I was really disappointed when my monthly gift arrived the next morning. I know, I know. It was only one evening of make believe. I can’t even imagine the heartache that must accompany a miscarriage or a stillbirth after months of dreaming. We weren’t even trying to conceive. The sadness that followed me the next day seemed disproportional to the happiness of our little evening.

I guess I’ve been suppressing this baby bug more than I realized. Our plan to wait a year or two makes so much financial sense, and yet my heart and arms are aching for another baby. It’s a good thing I have a newborn session in a few weeks. Maybe that’ll be enough of a fix for now.

Everything is Sacred

I have a Caedmon’s Call song running through my mind right now that perfectly explains my recent lack of blogging. I’ve been so busy with the every day details of life. “My cup runneth over. I worry about the stains.” It’s been a busy month. I don’t know how we find the time to get to the laundry. Seems like we’re always on the go. But honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So here’s a recap of our month so far.

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Bridoodle turned two and we rented a moonwalk to celebrate. For some reason the rental company decided to be generous with their loan so we had a Disney princess castle in our yard for three days even though we only paid for one day.

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They weren’t kidding about the castle part either. It was taller than our house! Bri loved every minute of it. We let her bounce on it all weekend. She still looks out the window to inform me that Snow White is all gone.

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This year she finally got the concept of opening presents. I think she’ll remember them at Christmas time too. She had a harder time letting go of the new toy to open the next present but was easily coerced into more paper tearing. We had lots of fun eating her birthday cake and watching her rip into the packages.

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We spent the following weekend with Nana and Poppy. They gave Bri tickets to see Elmo in a live performance about Sunny the sunflower. I’ve never seen Bri so excited before. She gleefully shouted each Sesame Street character’s name as they came out on stage. We were all swept up in the joy on her face. It was a really fun experience.

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At one point Telly walked right past our seats. Bri decided to stay safely tucked in Nana’s arms, but she did watch and point as he continued down the aisle. It was a fabulous show!

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In addition to all of that, life’s been pretty crazy this month. Hubs and I got new cell phones and numbers. I’ve been juggling two jobs and loving it! The photography business is doing pretty well and teaching is trying to kill me. All in all, though, I am still having fun at both jobs. Here are a few of my favorite shots of Bri from her two year old session.

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Don’t let all of these sweet pictures fool you though. We’re definitely hitting some rocky patches with Bri. She’s the most willful thing you’ve ever seen! Charming one minute…

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and throwing a ferocious tantrum the next!

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I’m always amazed at the intensity and duration of her tantrums. She threw a nice fit at Radioshack over the weekend and we were worn out after it was over. I never knew it would be like this.

Here’s my last little story for this epic post. We discovered a free clown night at Moe’s by accident one night. Bri fell in love with the clown and let her paint a butterfly on her arm. {The clown’s name was Lollipop and she offered a great tip for parents of toddlers. It’s just as easy to paint on a toddler’s arm as it is her face, but it won’t upset her nearly as much if she can see what’s going on. Smart clown!}

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After we ate our burritos that night, we took Bri to the park so that she could run off some energy. Life is good. It’s busy but it’s extremely good. We’re too busy making memories for me to write them all down.

Breaking News – Jumping Toddler Released From Crib

crib shot

In the middle of the night last night I heard a strange sound on the baby monitor. Sort of a “SPROOING” and it woke me up. The only thing that I’ve ever heard like that before was the sound of our springs being removed from the trampoline when we took it apart 15 years ago. (And by “we” I mean my Daddy. Of course.) So anyway, I tiptoed in the nursery and discovered that one of the support springs had popped off  of the crib!

You can see the broken spring in the bottom left hand corner.

You can see the broken spring dangling under the crib.

Hubster checked it out and we decided it would be fine for the night, but we don’t want to continue letting Bri sleep in the crib. It’s summer time and I think she’s ready for a big girl bed! We had a twin sized bed stored in our garage for this occassion, but it was ruined by the weather. Can you believe how much rain we’ve been getting lately?

Bridoodle loves to jump in her crib. No wonder the springs are popping off!

Bridoodle loves to jump in her crib. No wonder the springs are popping off!

I never post blurry pictures, but I loved these shots of Bri jumping on her bed. Her hands are perfectly still and in focus. And I can see her happy smile through the blur.

black and white and blurry

We’re going to start her off with a mattress on the floor so that if she rolls off it won’t hurt. It’ll be a few weeks before we move up to a real bed. In the mean time, we will probably be losing lots of sleep.

making a break for it

The Best Mother’s Day Present Ever

bri likes burritos

Saturday evening, after I arrived home from the wedding dress shopping extravaganza, Hubs and I started celebrating Mother’s Day. I really milked the weekend for all it was worth. On my way home I stopped by Best Buy to pick out my present. I asked for a new external hard drive for this holiday. I know, right? I’m such a nerd! Hubs grilled me a big fat steak Saturday night and we sat talking together late into the night after Bri went to bed. I reminisced back to the days when Bri was a newborn. Hubs pondered deep theological questions. We stayed up really late, just talking. I love it when that happens.

silly bite face

On Sunday, we slept in until 7am. Then Hubs made pancakes for me and Bri. He gave me salmon colored roses and the promise of a pedicure. Then we all got ready for church. We arrived in the parking lot five minutes early and I exclaimed that we would actually be on time for a change! Hubs laughed and said, “We’re not on time until we walk into the sanctuary.” Sure enough, the nursery worker for Bri’s class didn’t show up, so we ended up waiting around for fifteen minutes before everything was sorted out. We walked into the service as the offering plates were being passed. Awkward!

gimme more burrito

I started to feel woozy during church, so we went home early. After a nice long nap, I felt great again.

Then I watched Hubs clean the house while I played on the computer. (Alright, I may have helped a little bitty bit.) There’s nothing better than having a clean house that you (mostly) didn’t have to clean. Sigh.

The best part of the day was Bridoodle’s present to me. She said, “I luh you!” for the first time. It was so precious! Hubs and I both melted into puddles of butter on the floor. We’ve been trying to coax her into saying “I love you” for the past few weeks. Usually she replies with “No!” So this was a big improvement.

slurping my soda

For dinner, I wanted to go to Moe’s. I figured it wouldn’t be too crowded. So I ordered a Moo Moo Mr. Cow for me and Bri, while Hubs got a Cosocostan. And we all shared some queso dip and the chocolate chip cookie!

pretending to be gross

Hubs and I practiced making silly faces for the camera. We want to be really good at embarrassing Bri when she’s a teenager. We are dedicated parents!

last bite

And that was my Mother’s day weekend. It was fabulous! I can’t wait to go get my pedicure and fill up my external hard drive with lots of pictures.

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