So, I dropped out…volunteered for a few months in England, got a Masters in Public Health, worked at a charity and after 3 years now I am marrying the love of my life, living where I want to live, and just got offered a job managing clinics and hospitals in England. I love my life, don’t miss the stress of medicine and don’t regret dropping out. My family finally understood, after about 2 years, that the decision was the best one for me. I’m glad I’m in a better position now to start a family and have a less stressful career. I’m still paying off med school debt but it’s nothing in comparison to being happy =)

Also, all my friends from med school graduated this month…most seem happy, but also have very different lives than I do. They are very, very busy with life, have huge amounts of debt and many of them have been away from friends and family for the past 4 years and will be away for the next 4 years…working 60-80 hours a week.

It all comes down to what you love. If you love medicine, then you’ll make it through, won’t mind the sacrifices and will love what you do. But if you don’t love it, then life will be difficult and you probably will have a hard time going to work every day.

This sums up what I’m hiding. Wherever you are, you should know you have the courage I only wish I could have.

I’m a current medical student. Today, 10 mins into an exam, I found myself walking into the Exam office and letting them know I’m dropping my studies.
Then I woke up.

A big part of me want to drop medicine and do something else.
Another part of me is showing me images of disappointed family and friends and people. It’s showing me images of people who’d look down on me because I’d be a medical school dropout, a failure.

Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to follow my heart.

Thank you for sharing

I was sad through medical school, depressed through residency and suicidal through fellowship. I had a wonderful, patient husband who was discussing divorce due to my complete lack of affect for anything to do with real life. I would study for Step 3, the internal medicine boards, my fellowship boards and literally weep to the point of dehydration for all that I had missed out on in life and all I would continue to miss in the future.

Two weeks ago, I wrote my notes, collected my pills and brought them to a storage shed where I wouldn’t be found quickly. Unfortunately (Fortunately?), my husband was searching for a light bulb and located me almost right away. The pills were pumped out pretty much undigested. He gave me an ultimatum when I arrived home from the hospital a few days later. Him, the future father of the children we hoped to have together, or my medical career that had progressed from living like I was dead to almost actually being dead. I’m sad to say I had to think about it for a day or two. What about the prestige? The only good part of my life was that one minute every so often that I got to tell random strangers what I do and feel a little proud. What am I qualified to do with this specific degree? I only know how to be a doctor?

Thankfully,in the end, I chose a future for myself. I chose to laugh and love and live again. I’m only 10 days out from my decision, but I haven’t felt a flicker of the old sad pit in my stomach or the lump in my throat from constantly holding back tears. I even have a job offer from a pharmaceutical company. I’m finally excited for what life has to offer. I hope and pray all of you will find the same kind of relief.