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Back to school … yuck


So the last day of summer is slowly winding down and I’m really not ready to let it go. Today I wish that I could get away from me. But until that’s possible I’m just trying to focus on other things.
My friend’s wedding was beautiful this weekend. I really enjoyed doing her flowers and I received a lot of compliments. But it was very stressful so I enjoyed relaxing today and catching up on some much needed sleep. (We skipped church). I had Sunday brunch with some old friends from high school and it was a blast. I really enjoyed catching up with everyone, but as usual I stuck my foot in my mouth. Sometimes I wonder if the things I’ve said and now regret are still painful to the person I inflicted them on or if they were deflected off. Anyway, if you’re reading this post and I’ve ever hurt your feelings please know that I am sorry and probably regretting those rash words somewhere right now.
This afternoon/evening we went to a family get together and saw all of my aunts and uncles and cousins. But I was grumpy by the time we left, most likely because I knew that leaving meant coming home and coming home meant getting ready for school. I need to look on the bright side though. I’m going to see all my friends tomorrow and that’ll be fun. Plus we have two weeks before the hard stuff really starts. And I’m going to work so much harder this semester that it’ll be a whole different ball game. I just wish I could have the confidence in myself that everyone else seems to have in me. Somehow I just feel like I can’t do it. It sounds ridiculous but just the thought of going back makes me feel sick and heavy. It totally strips away the motivation to try hard and becomes self-defeating. Maybe if I could just get out of the spiral I could focus on doing well in school. That sounds like a positive note to end on. :o)

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